How to feel your heart breaking....
For 3 years and 2 maybe 3 weeks I had been with a great guy. We loved each other and we cared for each other and were there when we needed each other. But right after Thanksgiving we broke up. Just because I didn't have time. It took days to just stop crying, but Im still not over him and it hurts. I haven't been the same ever since. I would feel my life just slipping away and feel all the pain and heartbreak he gave me. And i barely knew why till weeks later.
I still talk to him here and there sure, but only because we have the same friends and I dont want to leave them or have them not be friends with him anymore. Plus we have all had good memories together. But He wished me a happy birthday and told me all of this stuff about him nowadays, then we still talk, then I let him know that I cant have a life like he does. I have a job and school. I dont have time to live life. I never could. I never went on a Senior trip. I tried to enjoy life and live under all my parents rules, which stink at times, but I cant do as much as he can. He is a hot head at times sure, but I never let that stop me from caring about him. And sure I have my problems as well, and trust me they aren't very pretty, but still.
Why is it that I always feel the pain from everyone else blow. I tell them I can handle it, but I just cant. One day I know I will die from a broken heart. I can feel it everyday and I know that no matter how much people think they know about me, they dont. And it just hurts. I feel it all the time and I have let him know, and he says he cares, but i know he really doesn't. I can feel it. And the fact that you can more or less do anything on text pretty much proves it.
Im trying to do good for a good life. I barely have anytime like he does. He can go ahead and mess around and do whatever, but I want a good life. I already have issues with sleeping, eating, stress, and stuff. But then he complains about me not living life. He just needs to grow up and move on from his childhood. I mean that is practically what he told me when he ripped my heart out.
Now I'm not saying that I haven't made my own mistakes in the relationship, trust me I have made many, way too many. And I did what I could to resolve them and make them better.But I feel like I am the one who is crushed and wont come back from it.
PS.......Im sorry that this is a rant, I just needed to get it out
I still talk to him here and there sure, but only because we have the same friends and I dont want to leave them or have them not be friends with him anymore. Plus we have all had good memories together. But He wished me a happy birthday and told me all of this stuff about him nowadays, then we still talk, then I let him know that I cant have a life like he does. I have a job and school. I dont have time to live life. I never could. I never went on a Senior trip. I tried to enjoy life and live under all my parents rules, which stink at times, but I cant do as much as he can. He is a hot head at times sure, but I never let that stop me from caring about him. And sure I have my problems as well, and trust me they aren't very pretty, but still.
Why is it that I always feel the pain from everyone else blow. I tell them I can handle it, but I just cant. One day I know I will die from a broken heart. I can feel it everyday and I know that no matter how much people think they know about me, they dont. And it just hurts. I feel it all the time and I have let him know, and he says he cares, but i know he really doesn't. I can feel it. And the fact that you can more or less do anything on text pretty much proves it.
Im trying to do good for a good life. I barely have anytime like he does. He can go ahead and mess around and do whatever, but I want a good life. I already have issues with sleeping, eating, stress, and stuff. But then he complains about me not living life. He just needs to grow up and move on from his childhood. I mean that is practically what he told me when he ripped my heart out.
Now I'm not saying that I haven't made my own mistakes in the relationship, trust me I have made many, way too many. And I did what I could to resolve them and make them better.But I feel like I am the one who is crushed and wont come back from it.
PS.......Im sorry that this is a rant, I just needed to get it out
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